A lot of gay men take pride in being independent, self-sufficient and in control. But is there a shadow side? When the time comes to let someone in, ask for support, or even rely on others—it feels uncomfortable, exposing, even threatening.
In this episode, we explore the spectrum between dependence, co-dependence, independence, hyper-independence, and interdependence—and why so many gay men get stuck at the far end of doing life alone. We talk about:
- What hyper-independence actually is (and why it’s so common)
- The fear of losing yourself, your freedom, or your identity
- Why intimacy feels harder than being alone
- How this shows up in dating, relationships, and asking for support
- What it looks like to move toward interdependence (secure attachment)
This isn’t about becoming dependent. It’s about learning how to find a happy middle ground where you can let someone in without losing yourself or pulling further away.
Today’s Hosts:
- Matt Landsiedel
- Michael DiIorio – Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men
Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
– CONNECT WITH US –
- Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
- Join the Gay Men’s Brotherhood Facebook community
- Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
- Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
- Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
– LEARN WITH US –
- Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
- Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
- Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
- Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.