relationships

Is Romance Dead in Gay Culture?

In a world of swipes, situationships, and high-intensity connections, romance can start to feel obsolete — replaced by sexual energy, emotional guardedness, or the safety of detachment. And yet many of us still long for thoughtfulness, depth, being chosen and choosing in return. In this episode, we explore why that part of us often gets buried under performance, fear of rejection, and modern dating norms — and what it actually takes to lead with romance instead of intensity. We talk about: This conversation is both a reality check and an ode to the intentional, courageous, thoughtful part of ourselves that still believes in romance. Today’s Hosts: Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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Sexual Authenticity: Owning Your Desires

Being sexually open isn’t the same as being sexually honest. In a culture that celebrates sex, many gay men still struggle to feel aligned with what they truly want, without shame or pressure. In this off-the-cuff conversation, we explore what it really looks like to own your desires without shame, performance, or pressure. We unpack how conditioning, fear, and expectations can quietly pull us away from what we genuinely want, and why many gay men feel disconnected from their evolving desires over time. We talk about: This episode isn’t about labelling “right” or “wrong” desires. It’s about building an honest, compassionate relationship with yourself so your choices around sex feel grounded, intentional, and aligned. Join Michael’s Sexual Empowerment 101 7-week men’s group Today’s Hosts: Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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Grieving Relationships

Grieving Relationships

Not all grief is about death. Sometimes, the hardest losses are the people (or pets) who are still alive—but no longer in our lives. In this episode, we’re talking about the heartbreak of losing relationships: romantic breakups, friendship fallouts, and the deep sadness that comes with saying goodbye to a beloved pet. We explore how grief shows up emotionally, mentally, and even physically—and the unique challenges of letting go of someone who once meant everything to you. Together, we share personal experiences of: This conversation shines a light on the many ways we experience loss and how to move through the grief with compassion, courage, and clarity. Related Episodes: Today’s Hosts: Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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Lone Wolf Energy

Lone Wolf Energy

Some of us didn’t choose to become lone wolves—we were shaped into them. Many gay men have learned to rely only on themselves, and while that self-sufficiency can feel empowering, it often comes at the cost of connection and intimacy. In this personal and vulnerable episode, Michael and Matt open up about their own lone wolf energy—where it comes from, how it’s served them, and the moments when it became more isolating than empowering. Together, we’re unpacking: Whether you identify as a lone wolf or love someone who does, this episode will help you navigate the delicate balance between fierce independence and meaningful connection. Today’s Hosts: Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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People Pleasing, Boundaries, and Fear of Conflict

People Pleasing, Boundaries, and Fear of Conflict

Do you find yourself putting other people’s needs ahead of your own? Struggle to set boundaries? Feel responsible for keeping the peace even when it costs you your authenticity? In this episode, gay therapist Michael Pezzullo joins Michael to go deeper into the roots of people pleasing—especially why so many gay men fall into this pattern. We’ll explore how people pleasing shows up in everyday life, why it’s so hard to stop, and how the fear of conflict and rejection keeps us from showing up fully in our relationships. We’ll also discuss: If you’re ready to stop performing for approval and start living with more authenticity, this episode is for you. Today’s Guest: Michael Pezzullo Today’s Host: Michael DiIorio Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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Why Gay Men Struggle in Romantic Relationships

Why Gay Men Struggle in Romantic Relationships

In this episode, Matt speaks with therapist and author Tom Bruett about the struggles many gay men face with romantic relationships. Together they share decades of experience when it comes to understanding the relational challenges faced by gay men. From toxic shame to developmental trauma, they unpack what causes these challenges and how to start healing and empowering ourselves in our relationships.  If you are someone who struggles in your romantic relationships with intimacy, vulnerability or codependency, this episode was created with you in mind. This is an excellent episode if you’re seeking guidance in relationship challenges, but it will also help you feel less alone in struggling with two of the most challenging things about being human; emotions and relationships.  The questions explored in this episode: Related Link: Today’s Guest: Tom Bruett Today’s Host: Matt Landsiedel Support the Show – viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes – CONNECT WITH US – – LEARN WITH US –

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Sex and Intimacy (part 2)

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Do you want sex or do you want intimacy? Or both? Sometimes our attempts to connect with guys gets thwarted by the confusion between these desires. This can lead to frustration and over time, loneliness.  In part 2 of this 2-part episode, Michael and Matt are going deeper into the topic of intimacy by talking about… If you want to increase your capacity for greater intimacy in your relationships, this episode is for you.  Michael’s Sexual Empowerment 101 Group Workshops Watch this episode on YouTube Resources Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection Building Better Relationships course Healing Your Shame course Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Connect With Us Join the Facebook community and monthly Group Zoom call You can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok Support the Show

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Open and Closed Relationships (Vol. 2)

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As more people are choosing to explore non-monogamous relationships, the discussion about open and closed relationships can be divisive and unhelpful.  In today’s episode, we are having an open conversation about open and closed relationships that will enrich your understanding of the many different types of relationships out there and help you figure out what’s right for you. We will cover questions such as: What is the ideal relationship structure for you? How do you handle jealousy in your relationships? Which of your needs do you expect your primary partner to meet and which needs can be met outside the relationship? What tips will help someone decide which relationship structure works for them? Listen to this episode to get some fresh and insightful perspectives on this hot topic. Watch this ep on YouTube – Connect with us – Join the private Facebook community Take our “Building Better Relationships” course Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Instagram GayMenGoingDeeper.com Patreon -— Join the Gay Men Going Deeper Membership coaching community

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Secure Relationships

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Relationships have a natural rhythm between feeling connected to your partner, and other times feeling disconnected from them. Each end of the spectrum can trigger different fears: the fear of being too close and/or the fear of abandonment. Understanding attachment styles helps you see how these fears show up in your relationships. In this episode, we’re exploring our attachment styles and sharing ways we can find a greater sense of security in the naturals ebbs and flows of connection in relationships. We’re answering questions such as: What attachment style(s) do you most relate to and why? What has prevented you from having secure relationships in the past? What does a secure relationship look like for you? What inner work have you done to have a more secure relationship style? Watch this ep on YouTube – Connect with us – Join the private Facebook community Take the “Healing Your Shame” course Instagram GayMenGoingDeeper.com Patreon -— Join the Gay Men Going Deeper Membership coaching community

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